I Usually Take First Class and My Wife Sits in Coach When Only One of Us is Upgraded. Here’s Why.

Well, this piece should elicit a few interesting reactions. And before you jump to the Comments section or anonymously troll me on social media (so brave), read the entire post and then let me know what you think.

We hear tales every year of someone (usually a male) who travels with a companion (usually a female). The male sits in First or Business Class because of his elite status or his business paid for only one premium ticket. The female is relegated is coach. The male is scorned — especially if kids are involved — for enjoying the good life up front while the lady lives her worst life in the back.

I know a couple who are both Delta Platinum Medallion members. If they both get upgraded, then party on. But if one of them gets upgraded but the other doesn’t, they decline the upgrade and both sit in coach.

I also enjoyed reading Ben “Lucky” Schlappig’s takes over at OMAAT. It sounds like he’s never encountered this conundrum, upgraded or not.

But my wife and I deal with this every so often.

Our Situation and Usual Booking Procedures

I’m a Delta Platinum Medallion and my wife is a Gold. (In my eyes, she’s a diamond and star and everything great in the universe 🙂 ). She was supposed to be Platinum with the Delta Amex MQD perk but a series of errors on my part and, frankly, Amex’s left her some MQD short.

We often travel with our eight-year-old daughter. Mrs. Carley and our kiddo are always on one reservation. I’m on a separate reservation. This is how we’ve done it since our child turned two years old and we had to start paying for her tickets. This way, everyone is eligible for upgrades. Delta allows only one companion, who must be a SkyMiles member, on a reservation if a Medallion wants to be considered for upgrades.

If something goes wrong and we’re separated onto different flights, my daughter prefers to be with Mom. (Though after we hung out this week during spring break, she might be coming over to my side!) So, that’s why the kiddo in on Mrs. Carley’s reservation.

But What Happens When Only I’m Upgraded?

Even when Mrs. Carley and I traveled together on the same reservation, there were several situations where one First Class seat would be left for upgrade — with me holding the #1 spot on the upgrade list. She, of course, was #2. I’m sure many frequent flyers can relate.

Even then, we’d rarely decline the upgrades. But now, my upgrade chances are better than theirs, of course. And when those upgrades come along (it’s happened three times this year!), I almost always end up in First Class.

Here’s why. (All of this happens after I offer my upgrade to her at least five times. Or even try swapping boarding passes on the sly.)

First, I’m built like a football linebacker. My wife (who’s short and compact) knows that I’ll appreciate the extra room in First Class. And I very much do.

Next, I often work throughout flights. The space in First Class allows me to actually work somewhat comfortably on my laptop, even when the person in front of me reclines their seat. The more work I get done during a flight is less work I need to do when we get to our destination or at home. Plus, I’m usually the one driving us to and from the airport in Los Angeles. Mrs. Carley is an excellent car sleeper. So I’m the one navigating L.A. traffic for anywhere between 45 and 120 minutes while she enjoys a well-deserved snooze.

On a related note, she’s also a very good plane ride sleeper, as is our daughter. I’m not. They often nap during our flights while I work or do something else. When they’re not dozing, they’re watching shows on a tablet or the seat back television. Or reading. Or not paying attention to me. So, if I’m going to be the odd man out, why not be comfortable? 🙂

We stay in touch during the flight by text messaging each other. It’s always fun afterwards when we swap stories about people we sat with, various things we heard passengers say, random ideas that popped into our heads, etc.

It’s not like this happens all the time. I’d say we encounter this situation maybe 10-15% of the time we travel. There have been times when we declined an upgrade just because it was easier for all of us to sit together. I declined the upgrades when our kiddo was younger, of course.

But a Man Takes Care of His Woman! Aren’t You Afraid?

If my wife were to sit next to someone she somehow felt was a real threat to her physical or mental well-being, she’d tell me. And she’d no longer be in that seat. Plus, she’s very kind and friendly. But it’s not in anyone’s interest to mess with her. Trust me.

I also grab some extra goodies from the snack basket for my wife and kiddo. Even that little gesture makes our daughter’s day.

We could probably use enough miles to get us all up front without playing the upgrade game. But that would suck up miles we could use to take more trips. Frankly, we’re all pretty happy with how things are right now.

Final Approach

My wife usually sits in coach while I take the First Class upgrade on the rare-ish occasions we have to choose.

It works for us.

What do you do when you’re upgraded and your companion isn’t?