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Get out your “Karen,” “Darren,” “Brad,” or “Chad” or whatever comments.
I hate when people play audio at high volumes in the presence of others in public places such as restaurants, buses, airports, and airplanes.
The rest of us don’t want to hear your music, movies-TV shows-other videos, and phone or video calls on speaker mode. And if you think they do, get yourself a social media profile and do all that stuff on TikTok or YouTube.
I’m generally a non-confrontational person. I get uncomfortable watching confrontations between others, but I finally had enough.
DJ Seat 10B
I tried working during my flight home from Atlanta (ATL) to Los Angeles (LAX). Delta’s “fast, free” Wi-Fi fit only one of those descriptors. (Hint: “free.”) My daughter was getting antsy, as kids do.
A blast of synthesizer beats suddenly rang out in our part of the cabin. I looked around and tried figuring out the source. Neighboring passengers did the same. They were noticeably as annoyed as I was — especially as the music kept playing. And playing.
And playing.
Now, I admit to accidentally playing music, a show, or some social media post on my phone or tablet — without realizing my headphones weren’t connected. I’ve seen that happen to other people, too. It’s a complete, harmless accident that’s easily correctable within about two seconds. We stop the media from playing, get our headphones working, and then carry on.
This didn’t appear to be one of those situations.
We were toward the front of Comfort+ on a plane with no wall separating us from First Class. This went on for so long and was so loud that I was surprised the flight attendants working First Class didn’t hear it.
So, I got out of my seat and found the music source. A female passenger in her late 20s or early 30s sat in the middle seat of port side’s row 10, gleefully watching some video on what appeared to be Instagram, TikTok, or something similar.
And here’s the kicker: she wore earbuds but apparently chose not to use them.
I got her attention and calmly asked if she’d please turn the music down.
DJ Seat 10B wasn’t taking requests.
“Why? Is it bothering you?” she snarled.
“Yes, it is.”
“Sorry. But It ain’t bothering anyone else.”
“Actually, it is,” I said. “Other people were looking at you, but I accept your apology.”
“Kiss my a**!” she snapped — and turned down the music. “And I ain’t apologizing for nothing,” she told me four seconds after literally saying she was sorry (though she wasn’t sincerely apologizing, of course).
I never raised my voice, made a personal attack, or threatened her. I sat back down. That was that.
DJ Seat 10B kept relatively quiet the rest of the flight — until she started playing music again a few minutes before landing. You know, when everyone (including flight attendants) must remain seated.
Did I Do the Right Thing?
My wife asked why I didn’t alert the cabin crew before intervening myself.
But as I mentioned, I’m kind of surprised they didn’t hear the music (at least the flight attendants working up front). It was that loud. But there was also a weird vibe with our crew. Other than a couple of cabin services and follow-up trash collections, they hung out in the back of the plane. One of the flight attendants just flat-out looked miserable. Maybe I should’ve asked for their help in the first place, though.
What do you think? Should I have just rung the call button? Or was I within my rights to politely ask a disrespectful passenger to please turn down their music?
Please share your thoughts in the below Comments section.
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Some airlines specifically prohibit any audible audio. It would be great if DL would implement that policy and make it clear that anyone violating it will not be welcome on another flight.
On recent Delta (and AA) flights, I’ve heard a new cabin announcement that’s akin to “If you’re enjoying media on your phone, laptop, or tablet, please use ear buds or headphones as a courtesy to your fellow passengers”. I think that’s a great idea and I like when they’ve been doing that.
That is Delta’s policy.
You absolutely did the right thing. It bothers me too.
I would have gotten a delta employee involved for legal purposes.
Yes I agree that while it seems kind to handle it yourself, getting a delta employee to address this could have had a more consequential result. Had the passenger told the flight attendant to Kiss my A**, they may have taken action. That passenger needs a lesson in Grow UP.
Still, good for you for making an attempt to restore some normalcy. Ugh
Umm.
It’s not just on flights. It’s at restaurants. Cafes. Train stations. Hospitals. Waiting rooms. Churches.
Anywhere and everywhere that Americans can watch idiotic videos or (worse) news broadcasts, they will do so, at full volume, and in total disregard of everyone around them.
This isn’t unique to America, but Americans are particularly adept at their own self-importance.
I don’t blame you. When I go visit my mom, who frequently takes busses, there are people doing the same thing ( playing loud music; listening to something on social media with the speaker on; talking on the phone with the speaker on or talking loudly during the call, etc.). I think it’s just rude. I would have gotten a member of the flight crew to speak with her, and I would have written a complaint letter about that particular passenger to Delta customer service.
Your wife was correct. As mine is ALWAYS correct.
I would have alerted the cabin employees to handle this. It could have escalated and you might have found yourself in a really tough spot not knowing what kind of person you confronted.
People everywhere seem to think they can do anything even if it bothers other people. I would have gotten an attendant to help but I also keep earplugs for restaurants and other places.
1) I would have let the FA’s handle this.
2) If for some reason you had to handle this yourself, don’t escalate as you did with the passive- aggressive “I accept your apology.” What good was likely to come from saying that?
I grew up in the Midwest. Nothing about us is passive-aggressive. But whatever you say. 😉
Do you truly not at least see how that response could easily be construed as being passive-aggressive in response to a halfhearted (at best) apology? Particularly to someone lacking in social graces to begin with? If not, when someone apologizes in the supermarket on your next several visits, tell them that you forgive them and see how well that goes over.
“If not, when someone apologizes in the supermarket on your next several visits, tell them that you forgive them and see how well that goes over.”
What?
Enter a situation where someone provides you a perfunctory apology, (such as at a supermarket regarding right-of-way) often just out of courtesy rather than because they feel they did anything wrong, then you tell that you will forgive them. See how that is received.
The analogy with your situation – where the rude woman made a pro forma apology then you accepted her empty words as sincere and she grew upset because she viewed you as being passive-aggressive – is pretty straightforward.
Have we really lost the ability to police one another? Once upon a time, we used to talk with our neighbors when they behaved against social norms. Now we’re all too afraid and have to resort to some form of authority, effectively becoming a society of “tattle tales.” I think you did the right thing calling an inconsiderate person on their poor behavior. We need more people willing to do the same.
You did well to ask the person to turn down the music/switch to her earbuds which were already in her ears.
The only fault I find is your use of snark in reference to your claiming to have accepted her apology that she never actually offered.
I’d just keep it more direct and business-like. If things go sideways then it’s time to remove yourself from the situation and refer the matter to the flight crew.
You were totally correct. The passenger is just a waste to society.