There are a lot of people who have never taken a cruise. There are also many who may have preconceived ideas why they don’t ever want to take one no matter what the itinerary or what the price. For those who fall into this camp I thought I would share the “Top 10” reasons why you should never take a cruise (if this is “you” that is).
#10) You hate adventure! You are the kind of person who likes to be at home. You don’t enjoy waking up to a new exciting port almost every day and simply love the view out your home window. The idea of seeing a glacier, up close, does not move you at all.
#9) You love cleaning! You love love love spending every day cleaning your home. You enjoy making your bed every day and cleaning a toilet is just the best thing ever. Oh and laundry is the quality time of the day.
#8) You hate delicious food! You are a ramen kinda guy/gal. The idea of stunning 4 course meals brought to you well arranged on white table cloths with kind and smiling servers is gross. Decadent deserts are clearly for kids not adults like you.
#7) You dislike being entertained! The idea of having a comedian live to tickle your funny bone is boring. Big stage shows is even a worse torture. Don’t even get me started on dueling pianos or other great singers when reruns of MASH is all you need to be happy.
#6) You avoid the sun! For you a comfy lounge chair out in the sun with a tropical breeze is a waste of time and resources. Worse is a smiling server coming around and offering you refreshments. Speaking of that…
#5) You don’t care for drinks! Water is always your beverage of choice. Tropical mixed drinks with fruit is just as well poured down the drain. A mimosa is gross and vintage wines are pointless.
#4) You loath water! You feel water slides are just dumb and hate getting wet. The idea of snorkeling in crystal clear water with abundant sea life is just boring and again getting all wet makes you shudder. Who bathes more than once a month anyway right?
#3) You like staying home. Seeing the world is for those who don’t understand that everything I need is right here. I would rather mow my lawn every day than risk venturing out and seeing something new.
#2) You hate your kids. They don’t deserve to have fun (beyond helping with chores). They should never play in a pool or drive a go-cart on a ship or zip-line over a jungle.
#1) You don’t want lifelong memories. History and culture are yuck. Who wants to see a city buried in ash or places thousands of years old or learn how people live outside your home town.
So there you are. If the above is you I really don’t think you should be reading the blog nor ever go on a cruise because clearly the joy of cruising is not for you. But for the rest of us – enjoy your next voyage where that may be! – René
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