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This post is gross. But having just recently had my septic system pumped, and watching in some amount of horror when the guy nonchalantly said “Hmmm… the hose split” while a fair amount of “fluid” spilled onto my front yard, it got me thinking. And yes, I know it’s gross and I am sorry but I have to share this (no not really, but I think it’s funny so I’m going to anyway). So you know what you can do to save Delta a lot of money? Take a look at this fun fact from LiveScience.com:
“A healthy adult bladder can hold up to 16 ounces (2 cups) of urine comfortably, according to the National Institutes of Health.”
On average 2 cups of water weigh about 1 pound. Now I know you have likely never weighed your urine (nor have I actually) but we will use that as a comparable liquid weight. That then begs the question, what about other bits inside you? Let’s, ah hem, look at PerfectOrigins.com and then next Greatist.com:
“Depending on your height, age, and diet you could be carrying anywhere from 5 to 20 pounds of poop in your intestines.”
“…the average person poops approximately once a day—about 1 ounce of stool for each 12 pounds of her or his body weight. That means a person weighing 160 pounds produces an average of just under a pound of poop each day.”
So let’s do the icky math on the above (or below I guess). I have looked at myself, and my fellow passengers, and I think it is fair to say most weigh more than 200 pounds on average. Thus we are talking at least 1 pound of stuff inside you.
This means if we have done no “business” at all before we board a Delta flight, between urine and fecal mater, we are adding 2 pounds to the jet to haul from A-B (or in case of a mileage run C-D-E-F-G-etc) . If we, for grins, hold our nose and use a Delta 747 that holds 376 people you are potentially talking over 1/3 of a ton of extra weight on-board! (OK, that is just ewwwww)!
I could go on and show you the math of just how much fuel per pound is saved by having that much less body fluid weight on a jet but suffice to say, if you want to save Delta some money, go to the airport lavatory before you fly. Plus, it is much nicer not to have to go into those tiny (think 737-900ER) on-board bathrooms anyway right? – René
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Hands down your crapiest blog post ever
Rene,
You are correct; this post is gross. But, it is also filled with facts based on biology and physics.
My take though is- What’s in it for me? I want to save Delta money and save the planet, but I need some incentive to join the preboard poop club.
How bout Delta issue a voucher for all qualifying poops which can be redeemed for early boarding , 1000 Skymiles, or complimentary signature prune cocktail.
@F Kirby – I like your thinking. Scan boarding pass to flush & earn SkyMiles
Please stop giving the airlines ideas to charge us more by!
i nearly spit out my coffee ha ha hilarious and who wouldve thought of this being an issue??? leave it to the “flying geek”!! thats only one reason we follow you……thanks you made my morning…..sort of
From now on I’ll try to remember to do my part to help save fuel and the planet. We can get reminders via the Delta app. Pee boarding before pre boarding. The bottom line is, flying is far better than riding the stool bus.
Better reason to use the airport bathrooms before boarding: cuz it’s a nicer more spacious experience!
Don’t forget before you go to take a roll of Skymiles with you.
This is precisely why some low-cost carriers hit you up with all sorts of extra fees at check-in. They figure you’ll **** when they hand you the bill !!!
I flew 3 segments on BA recently. No longer”the world’s favourite airline” but they do (do?) give a 20 minute warning before the seatbelt light goes on for landing.
This helps you land your carry-on baggage if you need.
Ditch the sinks on all or most of the lavs. Use hand sanitizer instead. This will create more room in the lav, save the weight of the water, sink and plumbing, plus improve hygiene as more passengers will likely use the sanitizer.
very funny but true..also asking people to throw away their trash prior to boarding would be great too…As soon as people get on the plane they are waving their starbucks cups to be taken!! Also they could gather the trash prior to takeoff and leave in the jet way..It can add up tooo!!
“A pint is a pound the world round “
Soo… poop and pee before boarding? Okay then. Don’t drink and eat while on board also. You just dump some weight, why make another in the sky? Also, without having to load beverages and meal carts, how much fuel can be saved?